Dating: A guide for men

2 minute read


Target Audience: Christian Males

In a world rooted in Christian values, the modern concept of dating holds no place. Today’s dating, a process where individuals meet to assess mutual compatibility as life partners, often involves ambiguity, lack of commitment, and physical intimacy, with marriage as a mere possibility. Such practices stand in contrast to the principles upheld by born-again believers.

Why Avoid Modern Dating?

  • It Does Not Honor God: The modern dating practice often involves physical intimacy without commitment, contrary to God’s design for relationships.
  • Impaired Judgment: It is challenging to make a discerning decision about a lifelong partner when judgment is clouded by physical desire.
  • Violation of Universal Law: True reward comes after due diligence and effort. Taking the reward beforehand parallels tasting the forbidden fruit and inverting God’s order.
  • Risk of Being Unequally Yoked: If both individuals are not rooted in faith, the relationship is unequally yoked.
  • It Does Not Honor Parents: The modern dating practice does not demonstrate respect to either set of parents. Parents’ blessings and insights are invaluable, cultivating trust and upholding the value of the individuals involved.
  • No Requirement for Pre-marital Physical Intimacy: A healthy sexual marriage does not necessitate prior sexual experience or with multiple partners to be experienced enough for marriage. God, the creator of sex, deems it holy within the boundaries of marriage.

The Phases

Phase One: Decisive Maturity

In this phase, the intent to marry should be clear.

  • Equip yourself for marriage, focusing on personal spiritual growth and forsaking sinful habits.
  • Understand that marriage is more about being the right person than finding the right person.
  • Invest time in reading books and learning from relationships around you to prepare for marriage.

Phase Two: Clear Intent

This phase involves assessing compatibility by discussing significant aspects (homeschooling, mission-field, career, number of children, roles in marriage, and long-term expectations).

  • After identifying someone special, communicate with her father stating your intent to know his daughter better.
  • Focus on learning about each other and identifying potential issues.
  • Avoid physical contact, ensuring any time spent together is in a shared setting or with a chaperone.

Phase Three: Proposal

In this phase, upon deciding to move forward, it’s time to propose.

  • Ensure relationships with significant people in her life are positive and seek their feedback.
  • Meet the parents to communicate your intention to propose, prepared for profound questions regarding finances, future, challenges, and your history.
  • Clearly outline a timeline, including the proposed wedding date.
  • Minimize physical contact and private time together to keep the growing desire in check.


Though these guidelines challenge contemporary social norms, they are rooted in biblical principles and proven successful in establishing strong marital foundations. This framework prioritizes honoring God and all individuals involved, fostering trust, respect, and a sturdy foundation for a flourishing marriage. It’s not an effortless journey, but one filled with growth, integrity, and divine alignment, leading to a blessed union in the eyes of God and men.