Refocusing One-on-Ones
2 minute read

Low-level mechanics:
- Apply active listening - redirect from listening to the thoughts inside your own head to that of your team mate. Examples:
- Paraphrasing
- Building trust
- Non-verbal cues such as nodding, eye contact, leaning forward
- Open-ended questions
- Asking specific question to see clarification
- Asking open-ended questions
- Record and track - listen, make notes and track
- Trello - I like to have a shared board where we can track items, highlight concerns and record wins
- On the fly - in daily interactions when there’s a win, concern or something to follow up on, add it to the board
- Introspection and no deflection
- Ask the hard questions to get your team member to think about their actions, behaviour and growth. Often times, engineers optimize for delivery rather than introspection.
- Don’t hold back on hard conversations or truth. Deal with things early and deal with them well.
- Their time not yours
- Show up on time
- Allow them to cancel and not you. But if there’s nothing to talk about, cancel.
- Let them speak, not you
- Avoid status updates.
- Have a clear agenda focused on:
- Results
- Career growth
- Feedback
- Make it actionable. Take outcomes, conversations and discussions into actions.
- Listen or probe for tension, friction or personal concerns in their lives.
- This creates a lens by which they operate
- Perhaps even making ill-informed decisions
- Or just having a different perspective for which impacts their motivation and drive
- Don’t solve their problems
- You are not a clinical psychologist
- Be very mindful about the advice you give
- Collaborate to action, clarify to enable
- ABC - The foundation of growth
- You can use this diagram to generate conversation
- Let the team member lead by completing the information
- Revisit after analysis, time and reflection
- Track
- Build an action plan

- Introspective questions
- What’s on your mind this week?
- How happy were you this past week?
- How productive were you this past week?
- What feedback do you have for me?
- Team-related questions
- What do you think of the teams morale?
- How is your relationship with X?
- Where do you think we could improve in our delivery?
- How did you deal with a specific situation in which you were criticized by a senior?
- Performance-related questions
- What are some achievements you’re proud of since our last meeting?
- What tasks have you found especially engaging or stimulating?
- What do you think stands in the way of your progress?
- What difficulties have you been facing recently?
- What tasks do you find least engaging?
- What kinds of projects are you interested in working on?
- Apply the Blake Mouton Model as a leader
- Impoverished manager - low regard for creating systems, low regard for results
- Produce-or-Perish Management - high regard for results, and team secondary to productivity
- Middle-of-the-road Management - tries to balance results and team motivation. Through continual compromise this will fail to inspire high performance
- Team Management - most effective management style. Passionate about his work and does the best for his/her people.

- Apply the Path-Goal Theory
- Helping them identify and achieve their goals.
- Clearing away obstacles, thereby improving performance.
- Offering appropriate rewards along the way.
- Align path and goals with organizations principles and values.
References:
- Effective One-on-Ones
- Active Listening
- Radical Candor: One-on-Ones
- Mindtools
- Get LightHouse: One-on-ones